October is more than midway through and in northern Minnesota, some of the leaves are a beautiful golden color and some are already long gone from the trees. Bare trees, lower temperatures, our first frost last night,these are all signs of present Autumn, and have the feel of the nearness of Winter. I have taken to my gloves earlier than usual this year. I have an aching in my hands that at first felt as though my fingers were broken. My right hand more than my left. If I am to be thankful at least one hand is better than the other!
I realized today that I have only written two posts since starting this blog. Summer swept by in a flurry of puppy care. My husband, daughter, and I have been raising Rough Coated Collies. This is a dream come true for me. I absolutely love animals, my life would be empty without them and our Collie named Abby is truly a blessing from Heaven. I saw a Collie website the other day that had the motto, "Collies are like potato chips, you can never have just one!" If you are a Collie lover, you understand this sentiment. They are such a gentle, beautiful, intelligent breed. I remember my first Collie encounter happened at the age of four or five. I had elderly neighbors who would allow me to come over to their house to play. They had a Collie, I don't remember the name of the dog, but I distinctly remember wrapping my arms around its neck, and feeling the security of its warm, oh so fuzzy body. Collies were first bred in Scotland to herd sheep. This Collie must have thought that I was a little lamb because wherever I would go it would follow and watch over me. A dear Collie breeder, who has since become a good friend, helped me last year to obtain my first Collie. I feel as though I have been waiting for her my entire life. This dog is an answer to prayer. She keeps me company on days that would be so long and lonely without her. This summer she gave birth to nine puppies, one did not live, but the other eight have spent a very lively summer at our home. This also enables me to have a business from home, a way to contribute to the family income that was not possible before because of my health. It is good to do something that you love, and other than a few not so pleasant clean up duties, I do love hugging puppies, and finding homes for them with people who will hopefully love them as much as I do. I am finding that God has placed a new ministry before me with this. I am meeting new people and I am able to share my faith through this. People that I never would have encountered are now in my life.
Here we are headed off to a busy fall. A season of change again lies before us. A time to wrap our hands, especially achy ones, around a warm beverage and take time to dream of what lies ahead, and a time to ponder the past. To access what would we change, if change were possible, and what would we realize we should treasure, if we were to allow ourselves to slow long enough to appreciate what was good? "Our mouths were filled with laughter, our tongues with songs of joy. Then it was said among the nations, "The Lord has done great things for them." The Lord has done great things for us, and we are filled with joy." Psalm 126: 2-3
I went to bed around 3 a.m. yesterday morning. I spent my I can't sleep time, making jewelry. I am trying to start a business that I can manage from home since my health is poor enough that I am unable to work outside of my home. So, I made earrings and lanyards into the wee hours until I finally felt that I could sleep. Insomnia is a very large part of my life. I am always trying to walk through life sleep deficient. Not because that is my plan, but it is just the way my life is and this is the way that I have found to adapt at this point. I have so much difficulty falling asleep and that is even with taking medications. Then because pain is so much of a beast, I am not able to stay asleep long, so I am frequently changing positions, or getting out of bed to heat up a comforting warmer that I can put in the microwave. Or I am taking my medications to control pain before I can settle back into bed. My best sleep time is from 3 a.m. until noon or often times later like at 3 p.m. This may seem like a pretty boring read, but I am writing it in case someone that has a disabling health condition may be comforted or encouraged some how through my writing. I'm hoping that this can be a blog sort of support group. Also, this gives me a chance to just vent about the tough stuff, and rejoice about the good stuff. And then just put it away...kind of tuck it into bed, and forget about it. This might also be a help to my own family members if they should read it. Or to family members who have loved ones with life challenging health issues. Just to give a better understanding of what life is like for us. Good thing today....my daughter and I went shopping. Just some girl time with the country music channel playing, a little singing in the car time. Simple joy!
"The Lord is gracious and righteous; our God is full of compassion. The Lord protects the simplehearted; when I was in great need, he saved me. Be at rest once more, O my soul, for the Lord has been good to you." Psalm 116:5-7 Blessings!
Tonight I am thinking about living life with a chronic illness. Chronic illness is as annoying as it sounds. Imagine being very nasal and slowly saying the word C H R O N I C. Yep, that pretty much sums up the feeling. I am writing this blog as a way to reach out to others who are journeying through life with difficult health problems. Also, as a way to sometimes vent the frustrations that life with illness presents. Such as when well meaning friends say things that they think should help you...but because they do not understand the suffering of walking through each day with an illness presents...their well meant advice...only adds to the frustration and pain, and shows a total misunderstanding of how difficult life is when you are "dancing as fast as you can," and still can't keep up with the crowd. If anyone has a comment on positive ways of dealing with this, please feel free to join in.
I'm also writing this as a way to express how God's love carries me through both the best and worst of days and I need to remember to keep this as the central focus of my day. Well that pretty much sums up this first post!
"But I will sing of your strength, in the morning I will sing of your love; for you are my fortress, my refuge in times of trouble. O my Strength, I sing praise to you; you, O God, are my fortress, my loving God. Psalm59:16-17 Blessings to you this day!
I'm a daughter, sister, wife, and mother of three, also a mother- in- "love" to two lovely young women, and grandmother. And I am excited to announce a new son-in-"love". We just celebrated our daughters wedding! I love to write. I dearly love God and am amazed that I can barely understand how much he truly loves me. I hope to be a compassionate person that tries to be a help to others. I have many health difficulties, such as Fibromyalgia, Arnold Chiari Malformation (which I have had surgery to decompress the malformation) and Sjogren's. I want to be known as a person who loves others, who tries to be kind, who has a deep faith in God, who is just so totally in love with my family, and did I mention my beautiful grandsons? I want to be more than a label of chronic illnesses, but even though that is a difficult part of my life, I also want to be a listening ear, or empathetic heart, to others who suffer from these same difficulties. Well, that pretty much sums up me!